so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
