it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I love how my cats smell like pot.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
