Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
cat food counts as protein by the way
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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