he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
