Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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