Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
