whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
