"it" just moved
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
