Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
