this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
