Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
