Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I CAN MOONWALK!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
