i think my mom watched the whole time
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
