is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
