Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
