I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
