I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
