walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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