I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
