The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
