Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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