i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
