my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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