It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
