They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
