Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
