my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
