come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
