I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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