is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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