You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
