what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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