he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
