yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
