READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
