quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
