I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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