The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
