Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
