So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
