I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
