Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
