you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
