How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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