Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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