1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
