It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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