This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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