you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
