New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
