We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
