Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
