yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
